I very like art and I sell weapons for buying more art

I want all this, « I want to get back on my feet » but it seems I am falling into a black funnel together with the foundation on which I stand. I cannot simply make a career as an artist and not think that any of my actions have consequences in the form of sacrificing something or someone. This is no longer possible: just doing from the Heart. Canvases are woven by slaves, paints are mined by slaves, money is obtained at the expense of slaves, my home is built from materials mined by slaves, heating in the home is obtained by me at the cost of the death of animals and insects and fish.
It turns out that technologically we are ready for the jump, but morally we are not.
It seems to me that I/we are fighting the immoral instead of living organically. At the moment when someone is creating the future, trying to overcome immortality, I am trying to understand what they are doing, I am engaged in moralism and am afraid of death and a nuclear war of corporations.
By the way, dolphins spend half an hour getting food, and the rest of the time they have fun.
When, for example, I write this text, I think of myself not as a person, but as a type of person who writes a certain type of text for a certain type of event - for an exhibition; and who will start with something smart, rocking and critical, and will end with how much our works cost. And this is the whole pity and „synthetik base“ of my/human life. I am a machine repeating after other machines some actions in which I no longer believe.